scott baio = home.

Well, Saturday night Edon took me out on the town. And by out on the town, I mean to a loft party of some uber hip hipster. Scenester. It was his birthday and by the time we got there I’d had enough wine to start talking Italian to a cab driver. Which means when we entered the party I acted like I owned the place (I didn’t) and everyone loved me (they didn’t). INCONSEQUENTIAL.

At one point I was underneath a candle-obra, which dripped wax all over my hair, and told a tall, semi- greasy, rock and roller type that his cigarette looked perfect dangling from his lips. He was Nick and 30 and his job, from my understanding, was to take advantage of scenesters’ shitty taste in music by selling them bands they might think it was cool to be associated with. He was the only straight guy I met at the party — and he might not even have been straight. He stared at my boobs though and told me I had a nice body, with no bump (meaning FUPA). I guess that’s a compliment but really I do have a significant bump, and it was just dark in there.

Then I talked to the most attractive guy, really under-the-radar, wearing a white tee shirt and jeans. Blonde hair dark enough to be approaching light brown. Almond shaped blue-green eyes. And he talked about books and was really clever with responses to my questions. By that time, though, I had stolen another bottle of red wine from the birthday boy and was slugging it and passing it around. I don’t remember much of what I asked him. I know I frowned when he told me he liked boys, and then I realized that must have been a horrible gesture. He understood, he said it must be hard to have a good conversation with someone who’s always thinking about sleeping with you, or staring at your chest. He was great, but wouldn’t you guess I forgot his name? damn.

Well birthday boy — who wore a black leather vest with nothing under it, and black pants — came over and interrupted us, and he gave me the video camera (cause apparently we’re good friends) and I taped my new friends, asked them questions. They turned the camera back on me, too. I bet that video footage is going to be worth its weight in gold. Nicky Digital took my picture, too. Now I can join the ranks with people like this. and this. and this.Wouldn’t it figure?